SJ-CH 0494

SAFE JOURNAL, CHAPTER 0494

SUNDAY, JULY 29, 2012

9:56 ANTE' MERIDIAN

STARTING BLOG:

This is the first weekend of my life. I have a clear memory of my life if I go back to the early part of 2008, and after that, it is a big jumbled up blur of wild crazy stuff that makes no sense to me whatsoever. I know deep down inside me that I am living in a public housing building down here in Florida, and have run away from New Jersey, in the hopes of escaping something huge, but for the life of me, I cannot put it together. Even my own blogs make little sense to me, and also, the many tapes that I brought down here with me that tell a lot of things, none of it seems to be something that I can put my finger on. I am obviously suffering some type of temporary amnesia. I do know that I used to work at a place up the street, I am at 7^th, and this place is up on 25^th. That is all I have a clear recall about. Somehow, I have enough pieces of this puzzle to know that in the nineteen-sixties, some dreadful nightmare series of events occurred in Atlantic City, New Jersey, that is all behind this entire future up here, but it is all jumbled. I remember unspeakable things that I doubt would be in the wildest Hollywood movies, still, it seems to connect why I am living here, all alone, with no way to access any help. My family deserted me a long time ago. My parents died a long time ago as well. Still, great big missing pieces are all over the place. I remember in 1981, having a strange episode like this one day. I was minding my own business outside in my car, a green Chevy Nova, 1978 model, and all of a sudden, I lost my memory for an entire two weeks. It all had to do with a place called the Atlantic City Recording Studio, and I totally remember that much.

This memory lapse began sometime over this weekend. I know I did not stroke out, or I would have paralysis on either my left or right side, still something is very wrong, and not with my left side, or my right side, US Copyright Office of 1984, as per the song sent down there, discussing that very same thing. Things are very strange in this world. Still, I know I did not stroke out. I appear to have been trying to do some things that were quite important to me in early oh-eight, and the gods of the Astral Plane did not like it, and must have engineered this wild plot that has spun my life into some unfathomable spiraling negative predicament as though I was shot out of a cannon straight into a black hole in space, and as many know, there is no escape ever, from that. I remember a dude named Larry, and I remember some people that were going to help me do some things on my computer, but the computer that I now have, is totally different from the one that I had back in New Jersey. I bought that one in the Staples Store of Berlin, New Jersey, and this one at the Fort Pierce, Florida, Wal-Mart Store.

Moving along here, I have a feeling I may need to call my doctor next week and hopefully my insurance covers an MRI brain scan. Maybe I am suffering from some form of early senility or Alzheimer's disease, who knows, as my mind is totally fucked up and I am not going to pretend that I know what is going on. Maybe, I will regain parts of my spotty memories as time goes on. I have no clue what has happened, other than it all happened sometime this weekend.

Before the weekend came, back on Thursday at one o'clock in the afternoon, I was at the Avalon Recording Studio. What I brought home with me defies logic. Maybe I am some kind of a transdimensional traveler, as it would explain why in 1983, so much unexplainable stuff happened to me, even the trip that I took on the Amtrak Train in middle December, to Orlando, Florida, to visit my RPL Sound Studio Chief Recording Engineer, Mister Howard Solomon, most likely dead by now, but I may try and look him up, and see if he can help me know why I have lost my memory of the past 4-5 years.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for reading the blogs, and hopefully, I will be able to make some sense out of an incredible situation, and then share it all with you, as if not, I might as well just pull all the blogs and anything else, off of the internet system, and check into a nursing facility, and live out my final days without all this worry and concern. Something huge has happened to me, and there is no doubt of this whatsoever in my mind, or what is left of my mind.

Now one constant is needed for me to have any hope of regaining order and normalcy in my life. The Callio family of Atlantic City in 1997, and the incident of the Real Good Girl deal in August of 1996, seem to be the focus of everything. This is the crux of what is behind my memory loss, if anything is, as I remember vividly, these two things; more than all else in my nearly 60 years of hellish life.

In closing out for the day folks, let me just say this about this powerful Numerological system called the GAWNUM, and this very magical dream cat who tells me that his name is Gawky Gaukauk. Last night, I dreamed that I had taken my lovely Lightning Goddess, Diana Zudlecronessia Arteemis, to a beautiful tall waterfall somewhere, and along came Gawky just after we had made passionate love for many hours on some orange colored grass. He meows words, I never heard anything like it. He told me not to forget the number 333. I asked him if this was going to be a lottery number, and all he said is don't play the lottery, just don't forget the number, it is why things are the way they are. He was wearing a sign on a small silver chain collar. I asked him if I could grab hold of it and read it, and he encouraged me to do just that. It read, “April 27, 2011, the naked truth about the house of horrors”. This really blew me away, yet just why, I am not all that sure. I know this date is very important to me, but that is all I can remember right now, also.

MARK MOHR-----PCN-871. Let me just say this much about this GAWNUM THING. All through 2006 and 2007, I remember what seems to be a few months ago, only it is a lot longer as my calendar insists, talk about UFO abductions, and the famous 'missing-time-phenomenon' that goes along with it, I would sit at my security job at the Cifaloglio place, doing manual GAWNUM equations. I assumed that the years would always be pronounced in the way that they started to be in my area anyway, such as, two thousand three, two thousand four and so on, not twenty oh five and twenty oh six. I always remembered an old educator back in Haddonfield, New Jersey by the name of Marola, never knowing her first name, a woman about 38 years of age, and my teacher. She seemed to know that years would not be pronounced the way all the science fiction movies were doing it, and she did it the way that it really did come to pass, at least in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Now, out of the blue, since my arrival at Florida, it is altering back to the way we all thought back around 1969, that the years would be pronounced, and people at least here in Florida, are saying, twenty ten, and twenty eleven, and twenty twelve, and so forth. Well in the GAWNUM equation, this alters things, as when doing these; one needs to use how things are actually done by society. To compare for example, my PCN of 871 with the year number PCN, entirely different PCN values are assigned to the years when pronounced the old way and now the new way. All of a sudden, most of the non-compatible years, have become compatible for me, a very positive thing. Still, things are to blurry for me right now to even start touching this subject or sharing further theories of it with my readers. I just somehow know down to the marrow inside of my bones, that this year-pronunciation thing, and the Gawnum match ups to my personal PCN; somehow all connects my current memory loss. I know this, and don't ask me how. It is a powerful inner knowing, we all get them; and if you tell me you do not, you are lying not to me, but to yourself. Yes, even before my memory cut out recently, I notice that my mind is not functioning well. I say on a blog several blogs back, to add up C-A-T as 3+1+20, and then when I go back a second later to show how the word cat has a certain PCN, I totally fucked it up, forgetting to add, and just use the 20, instead of adding the sum up to 24, no folks, you are not wrong, I screwed up big time on that, the PCN for cat is based on the root digits in the GAWNUM or the GRD. These in fact are 36, not 32. Cat has three letters giving us GRD-1 as a 3. Then its total alphabetic numerological value is 24, not 20, so adding up the 2 and the 4, we get a 6 for the GRD-2. So with a GAWNUM ROOT DIGIT 36, our PRIVATE COSMICODED NUMBER is 363, sorry about that folks. What gets into my stupid hacked mind, is really totally inconceivable, as how can I screw up a first grade equation? GEE WILLIGARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I notice another blog said double-double, obviously I meant to say DOUBLE BUBBLE, and it seems I make a million small screw ups, sorry folks. Well as an old friend of mine in 1973 told me over and over back in Barrington, New Jersey, at 2 Beaver Drive, “We're all human, nobody's perfect”. Yes sir Bruce Pennock, you sure were right, and are right to this very day!!!

Well I will wrap up this blog for right now. Next week, I will get to the bottom of what has happened to my brain. Also, last week, they totally fucked up my eyeglass prescription, it is way too strong and I am wearing the glasses out at the end of my nose to weaken the lens refraction and bring a proper clear vision to my eyes. Does anything ever go right anymore for any of us, I am left to ponder?

Time to go people, have a nice day. Living in this world is a total nightmare. For the life of me, I do not know why folks treasure this life, I cannot wait to die, and the way I have been feeling lately, I think this will be soon. I could not be a happier person. I have always hated life, and looked forward to the end of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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