SAFE
JOURNAL, CHAPTER 0462
11:20
PM, JUNE 26, 2012, TUESDAY
STARTING
OF BLOG:
I
have experienced a barrage of death angel attacks, as well as
distance delay reverse field scanner circles. One of these things is
heard, the other is seen. The one seen, happened all throughout my
days at the RPL Sound Recording Studios where I was employed from the
end of July in 1979, through the middle of March in 1981. The sudden
loud tone bursts that cut out all regular normal sounds on one side
and ear, never both, and is impossible to predict, is from what the
Jewish folks have labeled the 'Angel of Death', for countless
centuries. Other things have been quieter for a while, but today,
have begun to start up, not real bad, but then, that is how it
normally goes after am occasional long break from persecution, it
starts up slower than when it comes off of a short break off, but it
manages each and every time to work its way back into its normal
regularity of hell cubed. I report things that have meanings for me,
and in the 2012 time era, have little if any meaning to eight plus
other billion members of my cohabited global society in general. This
blog will be quite different from the ones so far, in several ways,
because I am an ever evolving and changing being while dreaming I am
Mark Wayne Mohr of former Hammonton, New Jersey, and now current
resident of Fort Pierce, Florida. Unlike Sarah-Stacey Jehovah
Krassle, I do not remain at my sixteenth birthday endlessly. My blogs
make no bones about what I know to be true about the All Mighty
Goddess of this multiverse, but this blog will most definitely add
some spice and genuine entertainment to the all ready printed so far
stuff, on the blogs Of Mountainpen, (BOM). I'll concede that I am
forced to exist and live in more dimensions and realities than the
other 8-GAGS around me, but have also come recently to a very
powerful personal revelation and conclusion, and that being, I must
conform to the greater number, continuing an ancient argument between
me and a female educator from the late nineteen-sixties, in
Haddonfield, New Jersey, USAESMWG. My blogs contain several
references to this disagreement between us, and I am not going to
reiterate and rehash old junk right now, it can all be archived
should this be anyone's desire to do so. The best way to archive my
old blogs would be to find them by Googling up 'King Nebnooshoo'.
When you see any blog with old Safe Journal chapter numbers, say
about between number 25 and 225, then clicking on this takes you to
the old blog, and from there, you can work your way into looking up
anything, the only missing time is the month of August in the year of
2009, where you need to be at a site called WORDPRESS, where I know
my blogs on that month were posted, or even, the site of
UNEXPLAINED-MYSTERIES. Going to their blog-site directly and
searching the word of MOUNTAINPEN, will take you to my blogs on these
sites. The current site I blog on that has both color as well as
linked YOU-TUBE videos from my account where much of my stuff is
posted on, as well as stuff I subscribe to on there, such as Alex
Jones, for one example. If any other site that is being used by me,
and being read on, is not in a clear typed format, or you want the
main site, here is the URL address that will take you right to my
blog at BLOGGER:
I
need to open the blog up with this, here and now, without holding
back on a thing, it is what I would speak into my original
life-journal on cassette tape, if I was still using this yesterday
technology to keep an accurate record of my life. I OWE A LOT OF
FOLKS SOME REALLY LARGE APOLOGIES. Most bloggers do not tell so much,
make anywhere near as many wild accusations, and name real names,
anywhere near the way that I do. I felt that I had every right to
tell the true story of things that have happened both directly to me,
as well as go on to analyze it all in an open forum into a public
bloggers internet system. Part of why I felt that I had a right to
tell TRUTHS AT ALL COSTS, so to speak, is because of my unusual
perceptions to physical waking life, to be blunt, shamanistic and
ancient old school wizardry beliefs that dreams are not understood by
people whatsoever, and once I began seeing what was really going on
in this multiverse, I saw it as my DUTY to tell it all, just as
around this time 32 years ago, I felt compelled and totally duty
bound to tell and warn about 1989, with a 1980 copyrighted song, sung
to me in a dream, by a special goddess, who I at that time had
totally blocked out of my mind, and I was wrong then, and think I am
wrong now, in the light of some new awareness as well as seeing past
errors repeating. I admitted to choosing that year out of the blue,
and that the only conscious recall of a simple two chord progression
melody, were the part at the very end about not calling when UI see
her, and that Love is for Carpenters. When I placed myself into a
powerful trance early one morning, roughly 26 years after this
dreaming experience, I was able to re-hear the actual song, as well
as retain the entire song in my waking world conscious memory. This
was quite a feat, and I do believe I was helped along, by strange
mysterious quantum forces or unknown elements of the Astral Plane,
really the very same thing, only said in two varying ways. Telling
people that the electron is intelligent, sparks laughs from the less
than college educated, and for those with a little bit of science
under their belt, they respond with, I was taught it is merely a
charged particle. Well, that is exactly what it is. But what is it
really charged with, and what exactly is this realm that all of this
happens on, in-between the larger than atom sized normal waking
reality, and the void infinity of total and absolute lack of
dimension, or zero-dimension, ZD? I just got another 'ODF' hack,
after typing in the past sentence words, 'is this realm that all',
and I freaking corrected it, HA-HA-HA. A geek up on the highway told
me around a year ago or so, that if I switched to the apple system,
these hacks would be far less and may go away. You hear a lot about
how they are better than the PC non MACK, but all I see and believe,
is a big difference in price tags, and until I can be convinced, I
won't spend a red cent on this nonsense. Anyone can talk big talk, I
am more into watching the dance. I have heard things, been promised
things, and on I could go, that would blow just about anyone out here
reading this totally away. Forgive me if I am skeptical and non
trusting. I would rather be a live paranoid than a naïve dead mark
or fool. Maybe these are better systems, but let me tell you
something. You can go to the K-Mart store, and buy a pair of Maxell
headphones, Model # HP-2000, and bring them home and read the
specifications and how they will deliver sound from 10 hertz to
28,000 hertz, and I challenge anyone to use them and tell me this is
not one huge lie. Oh they have a high end all right, probably close
to what they print, but if you can hear any base at all on them,
please call me and tell me what amplifier you are using, because it
must be jumping around maximum safe house use power. Even then, ten
hertz, my ass. They have no bass at all. I have bought three pairs,
and will never buy any headphones from Maxell again, or at any K-Mart
store. Everything is nothing but dirty rotten lies, and they get away
with it by using parlor tricks that all of us that know a little
about sonic waves, know, such as, yeah right, maybe they give
100-22,000 at one level, and then drop down about seventy decibels
in-between 10-99. Can you believe butt-wipe Spell-Checker, not
recognizing the word, Maxell, for gods sake? Totally unbelievable and
surreal.
Now,
before I get into the real topics of this blog, let me tell something
to 001. I don't believe in psychics anymore than you do, as far as
the show and parlor angle, but more is going on Patty, or else, how
could P.U. Of Glendora, have pulled off the Pearl Harbor dream
promise, know about the B's, known about Sarah being in prison which
this cannot even start to be elaborated on for so many obvious
reasons, and then even if you want to believe that the great
marvelous top females in the RIAA would take a cut of the nine grand
that I paid this witch psychic, and do all of this to me. I cannot
speak for the B's or their 'values', but for S. Give me a break PU.
Somebody worth hundreds of millions and with a reputation to keep, is
going to share a 50/50 split and for 4500 clams, do all of this to
me, so then what is up with this, Patty-001? Now, I am not saying
that a huge trick was not performed, but it is my sincerely desire,
that you show me through your great upcoming series, how I can begin
to say that something is not happening on some higher level than any
kind of waking world trickery that I can start to understand, and let
me take us a bit further to make my point stand out even still
brighter and bigger. I was robbed a week ago Sunday, or ten days ago,
as it is now early on Wednesday morning in the following after week.
Where was I robbed? What was taken? Did I not tell back last late
winter or early spring right after the passing of Whitney Houston, a
similar situation, done by her and her friends, but in a parallel
universe, as it happened in a what? All I am asking is, OK, fine, no
such thing, I even concur, BUT, what IS going the shit on then,
PATTY? The Hexagram of Deliverance, the I-Ching, PU, my past in
Atlantic City with these monsters, and on and on, so what is being
done that appears so absolutely unnatural, oh great know it all mind
games expert, of Russellville Oakland Street? Yes, beginning with
this nice dude who I still call my friend to this day, I said way too
much, without first asking for his permission, it was all true, and I
know he is out here reading this, and I am very sorry, old friend.
You of all people know that my secret is totally real. Remember when
you asked me what the 3000 dollars was for, and why I needed the
bread, to quote you? Well, you and me buddy, we share a lot of hell
and pain, and you know the big dark secret. Did you know that the
Count, mind blown and all, told me that horrible thing, out in the
hallway? I blew his because he first blew mine. How do you think he
knew? Does you Ex not figure into the equation, I mean I could be
wrong, but come on my friend, look how she was used to get you over
to my, depending on where you exit a trail, flop/pad/crib/???????? I
have a theory, but I don't want my digital sampling mother to find to
many flaws in it, old buddy, but I often wonder if MS was talking
about you? You know I'll go to my grave believing this incredible
lady is as interchangeable as four dozen pairs of reverse jerseys.
The word I used was not appreciated, so they all did a real parlor
trick on me, and took the word further back. WOW. You know, I have a
major respect for hologram life, and wonder after witnessing the year
3000, one year for each dollar I needed, huh pal; but yes, I really
do wonder when I see the unbelievable stuff. Say hi to your lovely
friend Venka for me, what you think because I kept stuff to myself,
that I was blind or seven? I wanted to have at her so bad, I would
have done in four of my grandmothers, abnd that would take some
transdimensional traveling, YO. Well, enough for now on reminiscing
about 1969 and 1970, all though it is times like this that make me
realize just why certain unnamed persons wanted me to discuss this
eclipsed era in my youth, speedships and all.
It
is as simple for some advanced entities, to sample the entire
universe, copy and paste it so to speak, here or there, the whole 27
feet, or 9 yards, or whatever; as it would be for me to take your
barking dog, and make it sing twinkle twinkle little star. I got an
amazing shock just how vast the distance truly is between head
knowledge, and heart knowledge, just the other day, over in PSLFLUSA.
I really truly honestly know that this is most likely the one
distance than humankind will never measure accurately. It is all a
dam illusion anyway, but still, why me SSJK, why me, and if you do a
George Burns Tony on me, I will do a Bo Jangles Dog on you, and
simply go ahead and up and die, Weston Wescott Ventura! Where are you
when I need you, old pal Salvador, is your pop teasing you again, yo?
Where has 1966 gone, ladies and gentlemen?
001, does this
incredible being know where the shadows dwell by day, all the things
we want to know, and the thoughts we cannot say? Can she tell me
anything that I really want to hear? Is the only way I know the way
the broken rudders stear? Does she think she knows, feel she knows,
to stop and go so fast and slow, how can I know if she won't show,
she will I know, and gladly so, and then I'll know, and then I'll
flow, or is it the other way around from 29 years ago? Well, which
side of the Alice hole are the magical fairy-tales of quantum Physics
are we peering through, since one side is here looking back, while
the other side is there looking here at us? My CARDDECKS have proven
this all is totally true, for ten or more solid years now, with or
without some expensive and elaborate laboratory up in the future in
Westmont, New Roddenjersey. If I had the answers or the meaning of
life, I wouldn't be living as the one born in this generation, to be
stuck in the great asd awesome and very frightening HUNTINGTON CURSE,
now would I folks, WHAAAA?
The book that I
wrote and copyrighted, in 1994, called, “The Permission Barrier”;
had a main character besides myself. I was Russ Walker, and this
other dude was the eminent and wonderful Mister future super high
technojenson, Mister Jim Pratt, PCN-880 of the great GAWNUM. Meow.
Several things were absolutely no accidents. One was my being chocked
to death on the 4th of June of 1983, 29 years to the day
that 'LAW & ORDER', the television show, and the greatest law
show in the history of all of television, came to an end both on
network and re-air cable channels, in so far as being regular five
day per week events. Yes, TNT ended their 5-DAY broadcast of this 22
year show, Miss Jacobson Nixongate, on this exact date of the 4th
of June, and if I am correct, it was 32 years back in 1980, that the
great goddess herself sang that mind bending and life changing song
to me in my 'dreams', called LOIS FOCA. Even the domestic and the
foreigners finally figured out just what LOISFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But
then, there was Count Von Marcucci Hallwaysecrets, and then there was
another great and more famous count around that very same time, from
the great sixties soap opera television show, “Dark Shadows”,
Count Andreas Von Petoffi. Mister Hands Jefferson, silversmiths and
ever loving Diana's all freaking notwithstanding. I remember a part
of this powerful cool show that many other fans may not recall with
the same accuracy unless they have bought the box set of the entire
show which is available on their fan-club website, and re-watched it,
and this is the part where Petofi has trouble with his glands. Hang
in there Huntington Hammonton, and Paula King of Atlantic City WAVES.
Is any of this some coincidence, or are these all some cosmic puzzle
pieces? Well, I come right out in my book in 1994, “TPB”, and
tell the truth when I say, no it is not some random happenstance.
Some huge upline world can take every possible subatomic particle
combination, edit and splice it all together, and create one super
reality show after another, and even dream down and interact into it,
from 256 light years away in some arcade such as Jim Pratt-880, or
whether the truth extends so far beyond words and fathomable
possibilities, it is the same dam difference folks, it is an
illusion, it is a game, it is a big parlor trick, but it has a goal
and a motive, and that is, to distract awareness away from
endlessness. But this is all old news, and what I will tell now, will
either break the brains of the physics world, or else it is known and
is being intentionally hushed up hyper time, to keep the commoners
from going totally bonkers at the speed of light squared. Let me
explain myself.
Forget squaring
anything for right now, that can be worried about later, and will be,
because powerful truths need to be revealed. Let us talk about the
way science and religion and all other things somewhere in-between,
battle with each other on whether or not there is some total
uniqueness to our life here as residents of the Planet Earth. I told
in my book from 1994, that we are unique, and still hold to this
truth, despite Julia White creating some powerful changes in this
hyperspace dream directly following the copyrighting of this work,
the book called, “TPB”, and suddenly as if by pure magic, along
comes the discovery of other planets out beyond our eight planetary
solar system. WOW. Right after I say there is nothing out there, she
has to put some planets there. OK, that's cool, now let me add this.
No matter what else she puts there, it is part of a reality called,
and in reiteration with many of my prior blogs, I now say again
folks, EXPLORATRONICS. I doubt that she will make
that many alterations past what she did in 1995, but then, we all
ready discussed a lot about my HIGHVIEW owner landlords, the
Shoemakers, as well as the great lifeguard chief and later mayor no
not 'ODF' butt wipe computer hacker, but 'OF' Atlantic freaking City,
New Jersey, Mister Levy. So right at this exact time in my life and
any life, where I am symbolically living and interacting around two
peeps with the names SHOEMAKER and LEVY, kaboom, Jupiter and the
Levy/Shoemaker deal comes into play. Again, Patty-001, another one of
your find a note in someones pant pocket parlor MY tricks? Gimme a
friggin' break. Well, you can still go on doing the endless and ever
loving GWPOS to enter into an infinite cozy comfy zone, that it
changes no truth and alters no reality. As of yet, even the greatest
quantum formulas have not been able to measure varying degrees of
belief observations, only that observation does, small and
ridiculously infinitesimal as it may be, have some measure of quantum
graviton effect, but seeing and believing verses seeing and lying to
yourself about what you are seeing, in my opinion, carries exactly
the same quantum weight, if it is 1.583474576847365858 times 10 to
the power of minus ninety three thousand and fifteen, then that is
what it would be in gram weight in both seeing and believing as well
as seeing and denying. Now this has not been explored in the
laboratories to my knowledge, as of yet, and when and if it does,
just remember to look at the date on this blog and see that I wrote
it first, TEE HEE LILLY SHIPYARDS PILEGGI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh well,
whatever Bob, I'll move on here, BRO. Speaking of music and peeps I
knew from before they were somebody, now we are even, MY. I know I
shouldn't have, but I did, and it made me cry like a baby, you're
gonna love it girl. But enough about sonics and shipyards and other
'Store High In Transport' boxes like cow manure, where we get our
word today from the old initials on ship crates, as manure when wet
is not pleasant to be out at sea with, and with or without KING
permission to fornicate or Fornication Upon Consent of King, not
Dawn, not Joe, Not Ann, not Paula, not the late John, or any other
wonderful gambling city roof dogs or waves, let me take this to its
necessary conclusion for my readers. The speed that light travels is
the same in all places throughout the entire universe, except close
to extreme fields of gravitation such as galaxy hearts or smaller
IGBH (Inner Galaxy Black Holes). Many mathematical formulas have
recently gained acceptance throughout the scientific community that
states that the speed of light slows down in some geometric or
perhaps parabolic proportion and ratio system with the size and age
of the entire universe, but whether this is true or not, the speed,
whatever it is, is the same all over, at any given time, and this is
important in making a powerful point about our unique existence in
hyperspace, and that aliens and other Store High In Transport stuff
along these lines is just exploratronics, or a natural process of
transdimensional beings all in altered dreaming states of their
awareness. Many items all ready show, that some next to impossible
for it to be some combination of pure random accident, are all ready
there in numerous count, things such as stars burning just perfectly
so as to be able to create not only fusion but post nova later formed
heavy elements that allow entities to dream through, the main one
being of course carbon, but one thing that is so powerful in proving
this was put here by a totally non-random accident force, is our
present time existence matching up with a perfect speed of light that
runs in tandem with out awareness in consciousness. Let me try and
explain this simply. Forget that light speed is roughly 186, 282
statute miles per second, and just know that light runs at a speed so
that it would go around the entire planet just more than six times
per second. You and I are aware of time in instant bursts of just
greater than one sixth of a second, roughly 400 instants per minute
or 400 IPM. This precisely balances the reality that keeps us ion
real time, and without being matched into real time, we all would
start to drift apart from each other, into our own realities,
forever. This will never happen, because, we are connected in the
awake world to the speed of time's reflection, or LIGHT. I figured
this out at age fourteen in July of 1969. How would I possibly have
had this thought just POP into my head? We can skip for now, and move
on with this exact topic, returning later on to other things such as
great goddesses and individual interactions that all of us share with
them. You see folks, I was jealous a long time ago, and I killed a
man, my own brother as a matter of fact. Now I know I was wrong. It
took years ODF quantum physics for me to suddenly realize stuff and
wake up fully and see the LIGHT, and know that all of us are being
interacted in, individually while in hyperspace, with this awesome
game playing teenage girl from a much higher realm than a million
Einstein's could ever grasp a hold of the idea, and all this time, I
though that SSJKK told Diana to do all this to show me stuff, but all
along, it was Diana who without being influenced, wanted me to know
personally, about SSJKK. This was something that made me become
different from the rest of the entire world, transforming me in a
flash literally overnight, into who and what I now am, and have been
since all of this happened to me back in the eighties. What goes on
between the great Sarah Krassle and myself is no different than what
goes on between her and all other unique individuals, when we are not
existing as the collective void at infinity. My being aware of things
on this illuminated level, is why I see things the way I do, and
should not, it was never meant for this to be like this. In fact,
this is how the 7th dimensional circuitry of cosmic
operates, sort of, in a very elementary way, or explained in one
anyway. If suddenly there were a million other Earth type worlds in
the galaxy, or within the local cluster of galaxies, they would be
dreaming into awareness's that would make them invisible in all
possible electromagnetic ranges of spectrum reality. So they dream,
as we dream, and meet in the hyperspace, while in that non waking
world state. There is a twilight zone and many have personally
experienced it, that sort of place where you are both awake and
asleep. This can happen when an advanced exploratron targets us for a
temporary take over, nothing serious, it passes, nothing to call out
the Bluebook Squad or the BFA over, only it's doubtful that in 2012,
they understand this on my level. You too, can learn to be a higher
type of exploratron, as the second you lose your waking world
awareness or go to sleep as you might put it, every single day, you
are all ready a TYPE-1-EXPLORATRON. It is when you learn how to find
your many other you-twins in the countless localized parallel
realities, and then temporarily live through them and even put them
to sleep while you not only live through them but can take over and
manipulate them, but this is not a lesson for this blog, and even
doing these things just gives you temporary lives in other parallel
universes, you will always wake up where you fall asleep, unless you
should physically die in your sleep. Now exploratronics is one great
rational explanation for some of the wild parlor tricks that have
been done around me all of my life. Some I have initiated. Others,
others have initiated. This is the absolute truth. When you see you
are in some kind of a game, you can choose to interact as a fake and
deny what you know to be true all around you, or you can stop
worrying about what society thinks about you, and begin interacting
back in the game. That is all it is, life is but a game. A game of
distraction against knowing there is no beginning and no ending, we
just exist. All other things, including time, are pure illusion. When
I killed my brother a long time ago out of pure jealousy, I was under
a powerful delusion that the all mighty loved him and not me. This is
like being jealous of the invention of the CD or the DVD or the BLUE
RAY players. You get one, take it home, hook it up, and then it is
whatever disc or digital media that you then go onto purchase and
view and entertain yourself with, that becomes your personal
interaction with the invention. The invention is just the invention.
Goddess Herself is VOID. Religions do not like that truth. Most folks
hate truth. Truth rips lots of masks off of very ugly faces. Truth
unveils a lot of stuff that people will kill to not have anyone know
about. The truth is that this thing that I have been searching for
forever and ever and ever, is my own personal interaction with the
creative force of cosmos, not the creative force of cosmos itself, as
by itself, it is like the player, and if nothing is ever played, it
will sit there and age and turn to dust and be forgotten as though it
never was there. I realize now that I am looking for my own
interaction with this force. I always wanted that of course, but
still did not see this in proper light and truth, thinking that this
'thing' actually exists separate and away from being connected with
me. This of course applies equally to any of you, reading these
words. I am now fully 'able' to be who I am, no longer searching for
anything. I know I am dreaming in the hyperspace, and while here, I
can never ever be directly with this force in interactions. However,
on the subatomic realm, I always am there, and she is always there
with me. Now the long remaining 19 years can come and go, and won't
feel so endless and agonizing. A long time has passed since my search
for SSJKK began in 1995. Many things have happened, and have led me
to many belief systems about why things happened the way that they
did, back in the eighties and the seventies and the sixties. Quantum
Truth however is that I have made a lot of hells for myself. No
person, no thing, no experience, on this waking Earth world is
permanent, nor is it any kind of answer, and all happiness here, and
misery, is quite fleeting. 'Row row row your boat gently down the
stream', is probably the simplest yet most powerful true sentence
spoken in all of recorded history in this known and preserved ice age
cycle. I watch peeps place such importance on stuff that cannot
possibly last more than 20, 50, 80 years or so, and then, WO, YO,
kaplooey, gone, over, fine'. But let us say that it lasted a million
years. I'll bet anyone out here, that long long long before your new
extended time line is up, you would be miserable eventually, doing
anything that once made you ecstatically thrilled. You might change
things around for a while, but within three thousand years or less,
you would jump into a live volcano just to shut the entire thing off.
I can go on with this, believe that, but I need to talk about one
very wild thing right now, despite all the things written from this
point. It is about my mother, and it is not going to be the most
pleasant thing for all readers, so I won't take offense if at any
time, you simply click the 'NEXT BLOG' button, or just sign out of
the blog site. Sawn you, but I need to tell a story, and believe me
Copyright Office, 1989, Prosecutor Offices, marvelous television
shows with 22 year runs, and men in all their glory, have nothing
whatsoever to do with what I am now going to talk about, Aunt Ruth
Huntington Gottwald, of Babylon, so let my people go, and let this
blog be free to tell a nightmare true story that is powerful, and if
you upchuck, well, get a mop and clean up, we're all human Bruce,
nobody's perfect, not even Minnie Rip.
When I lived in freaking Somerdale,
New Jersey, during the summer time in 1997 right about in the middle
of my time in this house that I had purchased for 125,000 dollars
from Grassi Real Estate, I was right smack dab in the early beginning
nightmare of my unfathomable inconceivable wild crazy search to find
the missing teenager from my past, Sarah Krassle. Before we go on
with this, you need to understand that symbolic values are more
powerful than you think, and that you tend to analyze hyperspace
parallel universe memories (dreaming experiences) in this very
matrix, not understanding that this is a dream also, right here.
Anything larger than an atom is part of a dream, requiring a space
and a time dimension, for you to create an interaction in, instead of
the subatomic realm or Astral Plane, where you create the interaction
in a flash, and then time and space just pop into it as a part of it.
The bible that we are all dreaming as a part of our historical and
religious reality from nearly two thousand years ago, is quite clear
that some of it is very symbolic, and other things like, “hay butt
wipes, don't kill”, are not. Jesus and even before Jesus, this book
discusses bread, eating, and that the bread of life is Jesus, and
also that bread by itself does not sustain us, we can eat for the
rest of our lives, but we will die of something no matter what we dam
eat. Eating, great feasts, banquets, having meals, all of these
things are written about, and discussed on the level of a ratio,
comparing in many parables as well as direct teachings that say many
things about the partaking of food, or having a “meal”. One night
in the late summer time in 1997, I fell into a very troubled sleep,
wishing I could find my Sarah, so what else was new? I no sooner
dropped away from waking world awareness, and I was no longer in my
bedroom, but was right outside of it in the hallway that connected
two other bedrooms on one end, and the kitchen and living room
straight out on the other end, with the dining room extending out to
the right of the living room and the left of the kitchen, with a
separation right where the stairs led down to a split level, half way
down to the front door, and then half way further down to another
bedroom, a large den, another bathroom, and a laundry and utility
room. My mother, so it seems, had worked super hard all that day, to
prepare some real super meal for me that night, to hear her tell it
in this wild experience, and she was in the opening area looking down
the hallway at Sarah at me, telling me how dinner was ready, and
Sarah said and I'll quote her, “He is not going to have that meal,
we're going out”. Here she was, standing at six feet and seven
inches without heels, her long light brown hair flowing down to her
knees, her huge very round and cardboard-brown eyes glaring at my
mother, as she said back to her, and I am quoting, “Now Sarah, I
have worked very hard preparing this meal for Mark, all day long, and
he IS going to have this meal”. Sarah glared at her and said a
second time, “He is NOT going to have THAT MEAL, we are going OUT”.
Then my mother said another time, the very same thing, and shouted it
quite loudly. I spoke up and tried to tell her that I'll have the
meal when I get home later on and not to get the great Sarah Krassle
angry. But after I did this, she repeated again that she had worked
very hard all day long, and that I was going to have this meal or
else, and now. Something happened that I do not believe I ever heard
anyone else say or tell in all of my years up to this moment at
nearly age 57.6 now. We all hear stories about life flashing before
ones eyes when a gun is pointed or they start to crash in an
airplane, but unlike just a mental action that occurs, it was as
though millions of possible futures all began running faster and
faster all around me while I stood in sort of a protected immobile
zone and this was all flashing around me in six directions with no up
or down or anything. I remember thinking how my mother over the past
ten or more years had become so difficult and down right nasty and
beyond dominating with me. I no longer saw her, or Sarah, but I heard
myself say to myself in that silent mind voice we all hear as we
think, and we all think in our own voice, notice that we never think
in another person's voice and this is powerful stuff that we will
tackle at a later time as it sort of pertains to these times in the
middle and late nineties; but I remember thinking that I wish that a
real fitting punishment would happen to my mother for being so
totally horrible for so long, as though she had become literally
possessed by Frankenstein's freaking monster. Suddenly, it was just
the next morning, a weekday, and she was at her office at Inchcape
Shipping. I had gone to sleep around midnight and it was around nine
in the morning, rarely did I enjoy a nice long sleep like that, but
upon awakening and going to the bathroom to build a yellow stream,
boom, I suddenly recalled the interaction, in full vivid bright
colored detail. It was not long afterward that my mother got that
very mysterious illness that all of the experts in numerous fields of
medical science, could never get to the bottom of, and she lingered
in that condition for 26 months before passing out of this nightmare
hell on the fourth day of March in 2000.
No world, I no longer am jealous of
the DVD/CD/BR player nor do I vie for its attention or its affection.
I accept this game for what it is, and what it always was and will
be. It really is that simple, 001 Red Henningsen. WHAAAAAAAA.
************ENDING
OF THIS BLOG************
